Falling through love, rising in pain.

I reconnected with a guy today and he mentioned to me after 31 years of marriage he just got a divorce. It wasn’t a sad moment or anything like that… He seemed to be in great spirits, they even had lunch the other day…But let’s stop right here for a moment… Why is a guy, I mean the brother is no younger than 60 with not a strand of black hair on his head, getting divorced? 31 years of marriage and 2 beautiful daughters later?…

I know what it feels like when a family splits… I took that road before… There are no roses on that path…. No lilacs, no marigolds, no daffodils, no hibiscus, no daisies, no carnations, no buttercups.

Just torrential downpours on barren surfaces….

I will just call him Mr. Jiffy Lube for identity sake. Please say a prayer for Mr. Jiffy Lube because behind all the subliminal laughs, and up beat spirits I don’t think a 60 year olds heart is about that life.

5 Things to help poor communication.

1.  Don’t assume people know

A lot of the time these situations happen because people assume that everyone is clear on the expectations of their standards or exactly what actions should have been taken. This, then, is where we get to sneak in the old chestnut of Assume makes an Ass out of U & Me, but it’s kind of true. If you don’t clearly outline what the expectation is each time, then how will anyone know? Work on the rule of if it hasn’t clearly come out your mouth it doesn’t exist, and you won’t go far wrong.

2.   Use Plain English

Are you using jargon or management speak or regular plain English? Yes, I’m sure that you will sound very smart being able to rattle off the latest industry buzzwords or Three letter acronyms but guess what one works best? Right, plain English, forget the acronyms and buzzwords just talk it out like a normal human being and just talk to the other person as an equal who you actually want to pass information to.

3.  Make Sure You Actually Say (Useful) Things!

Let’s imagine that you are not trying to keep things secret and you do want the other person to succeed, in that case then you have to actually say out loud what you want from the other person. Don’t have a discussion/argument in your head before the actual discussion. Yes, I know everyone says to practice the hard discussions and you should, but not in your own head, get a friend or college to be the 2^nd voice so it has to come out your mouth. You need to also hear what you say, and they can tell you if it makes sense. If you are someone who gets stressed in a hard conversation, make bullet points and tick them off to make sure you cover things!

4.  It’s About The Facts ​

Firstly remember that they are only facts if you can prove them and people agree, otherwise they are opinions and your thoughts. Where you can stick to the facts all the time and before you leave the conversation, ask the other person to explain what the expectation or agreement is, if they can’t you haven’t communicated it correctly so take a breath and try again, slow down, ask more questions as you go, draw things out, give them notes to take away if need be but don’t let them leave the conversation until you are both on the same level of understanding of the outcomes needed and if there is a particular way it must be done.

5. Practice

Everything is better with practice. Do lots of it, and with a range of people. Over-communicate and explain things again and again until people are either parroting back what you are saying or beg you to stop! The more you have clear conversations with people in a style that they enjoy the more successful you will be in getting the results that you need and the happier everyone will be.

What’s visible without, first comes from within.

But you knew that, take joy in the journey. ☺️

The picture is from Rio Seco Waterfall in the beautiful paradise of Trinidad.

Speak Life.

Make your words count.

You cannot own your day until you own your words. Twenty-six letters rule your world. We all know the power of words. Words can inspire you and encourage you. Words can create a desire in you to be the biggest and brightest. And words can also tear you down, discourage you, demoralize, and dishearten you.

Words are powerful. Words are important. Your biggest challenge in life will be controlling your words. There is power in your words. Be careful what you say.

Speak with the goal of building up, seeing the good in every circumstance, and always making people better. There is great wisdom in pausing before you speak to measure your words against these standards:

Is it helpful?

Is it necessary?

Is it kind?

Do you want to own your day? Own your words.

The Bible App•

Present your best self repeatedly.

Who said it Shakespeare? I believe so and the quote reads “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts”

On a daily basis we are guaranteed to encounter various different experiences that have considerably high volumes  of impact on the outcome of our 24hr cycle.

Birds of a feather.

Birds of a feather flock together as we know, so if you find that you have not been winning in different areas of your life isolate yourself from the pack. It means that people you are surrounded by are also not winning. 

Send them packing … hit the road jack and don’t you come back no more no more no more no more hit the road Jack you too Jen, and don’t you come back no more. 

It is not only necessary that you get the losers out of your life but it is urgent you do so now. 

Your success is clinging to that very move.

So make haste papi/ mami.

Rapido… 

Get the losers out of your life, make room for people who are winning to enter your life.

Ask the universe to surround you with winners and with that change of attitude get ready for a higher altitude. 

Commit or Stop Living

Today I make a full commitment to living an abundant life.

Today I commit to my goals.

Today I commit to my dreams.

Today I commit to my family.

Today I commit to my best health.

Today I commit to being thankful.

Today is the day I commit.  Repeat x 10

For Serious Individuals Only

I commited.

Making wrongs right.

Let bygones be bygones and so on and so on.

Your journey is your journey, specific to only you. 

No one else’s vibrations can take you to your destination. 

So vibrate in your own frequencies, but vibrate higher. 

Who am I? — Conversations on finding and loving who I am

I’m on this journey of discovering myself. Next year I’m going to be an empty nester. So right now I feel like I need to find something to do or even my identity. I know I’m a wife, mother, sister, and friend. But who am I outside of those things? That I’m not sure. I […]

via Who am I? — Conversations on finding and loving who I am

Who Am I? — Moonlighting Scrivener

I write poems at midnight for an audience of one I dance, whenever I feel like, till my hair become undone I cry long and loud, some times, just for fun I slow down when life demands it And in the mornings, I run You could call me a paradox Cool and calm as the […]

via Who Am I? — Moonlighting Scrivener

The Poet

The Poet

He paints every heart with colors that brightens the soul,

His words craftily woven to take you on a perfectly paved road. Imagine.

A vibe so positive it makes you wanna dance to his tune, 

A silent voice like the silent waters that calms the tide in the rising of the moon. 

A creative with a passion for motivating,

Brown yet he’s golden.

A wholesome and elegant color

You can see the homeyness in his eyes 

A warm and cozy fireplace feeling.

A natural scent that charms you in your very element, say lavender, mixed with a touch of oriental.

His gestures are welcoming and sensational

Always in sync with the earth 

A bond so strong it inspires

Everything he touches he improves.

Love is his fire

Life is his music

A lion in his territory.

Passionate, gentle, sensual , strong, earthly

Intimate with his words. 

A garden of inner beauty

A ray of sunshine in your dark days

A calm in the winds with words for the weak

A whisper in the noise

A light in a very imperfect world

A Brown You can always depend on.